


Lost Prayers

by Christian_the_bluefrog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bittersweet, M/M, Prayer, Pre-Relationship, Purgatory, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_the_bluefrog/pseuds/Christian_the_bluefrog
Summary: This is a collection of prayers heard by Castiel in Purgatory. It's just something I came up with one sad day.





	Lost Prayers

Prayer 1

Hey Cas,  
I hooked up with a vamp named Benny. We have an agreement, but don't worry, if I'm anything besides a pain in the ass, I'm paranoid. Not that I expected not to sleep with one eye open, but if this goes well, maybe I can find a way to sleep. Or at lease feel safe enough to pass out from exhaustion. I don't blame you for running. After everything, hell, I can't say I'd have done any different. I just need you to know that I'm going to find you. We will get out of this together. I promise. Night Cas.

 

Prayer 8

Hey Cas,  
I took a pretty bad blow today. I'm okay thanks to Benny. I think I fractured my arm, I'm lucky it's my left one. I got slapped against a tree by a vamp. I think the whole leaving you clues things is biting us in the ass worse then I thought. Benny was against it from the start, but he knows I'm not leaving without you. It took five days to pound that into his head. I think the only reason he agreed is because he thought it'd work the first or second day. I know we'll find each other soon, but I can't leave anymore markers. I'm sorry. Night Cas.

 

Prayer 33

Hey Cas,  
I want you to know, I'm not mad. I know you had your reasons, and in the end you are trying to do what you think is best. So, if you're hiding or whatever, just please stop. I'm going to find you. I'm not leaving without you. Anyway, night Cas.

 

Prayer 59

Hey Cas,  
I don't know if you can hear me. Maybe things don't work here like they do back home. Part of me wants you to hear this, to have heard every prayer that I've sent, all 58 of them. Part of me thinks you can't, which is why I pray so freely now. You know I don't do chick flick moments, and hell if this isn't one I don't know what is. I fall asleep talking to you, not that you answer. You're my last thought at night, and my first in the morning, then heck, almost all of them doing the day. That's all I do, Cas. I think about you. We look for you. I tell you every night I'm not leaving without you. I mean that. Goodnight Cas.

 

Benny's prayer Day 92

Hello?  
I, um, don't really know how this works. I've seen Dean do it, and I'm guessing if he keeps doing it, then it's worth doing. My name's Benny. I umm, I been running with Dean. I'm not sure what exactly is going on with you two, but if he's talking to you every night, there has got to be a better way to find you... Look, I'm being inpatient, I get that, but truth be told, he's hurting pretty bad. So, get your ass in gear, I'm ready to get out of this place.

 

 

Prayer 121

Hey Cas,  
I found a bees nest today, okay it was a wasp nest, and the wasps were horrifying, but the point is it made me think of you. Not because you're horrifying, but you like bees and... Shit. This is still awkward as hell. Even praying I'm fucking up. Today's just been a bad day. Which probably sounds funny, because... ya know, but there was an extra scoop of shit on my plate today. Anyway, I hope you're okay. I'm still looking for you. Anyway, goodnight Cas.

 

 

Prayer 146

Fuck you Cas,  
Just fuck you. I'm trying my hardest here, man. I don't know what else to do. I need something from you; anything! I need to know you're safe. I need to know that that you're alive! Fuck it Cas, I need you. I just need you. Goodnight Cas, please stay safe.

 

 

Prayer 193

Hello Castiel,  
I had a dream last night. I dreamed about how you were always so formal, 'Hello Dean', every time you saw me. I wanted to test it out, but it feels wrong. It's your thing, it belongs in your mouth, with your deep voice. I miss your voice, Cas. Your really lucky you know, if you can actually here these prayers. You have a familiar voice to listen to, every night. I'd give my left testicle to hear your voice right now. Okay, I know I can't take that back, so let's just chalk that up to sleep delirium. I haven't had any sleep in three days now. This is going to sound stupid but, I had a nightmare, and I can't sleep because I don't want to chance having it again. I dreamed we found your mangled corpse; picked apart, limbs scattered. I don't want to think about it anymore. I'll probably pass out soon anyway. I miss you Cas, goodnight.

 

Prayer 203

Hey Cas,  
I've been thinking a lot today. It's really a stupid idea, because thinking can lead to daydreaming, then to lack of paying attention, then, well you get it. But I allowed myself to take just a few moments to think. I thought about the first thing that I want to do with you when we get back. I still haven't decided yet. I want your input on it, but I figured I could at least make a list ya know? So here it is.

Find the first burger joint and stuff our faces. (I know that probably wouldn't be all that fun to you, but hey, I had to put it on the list.)

Find the first motel we can and sleep for a week.

Call Sam. (I know, I know, how could I put that at third on the list? Well because I'm hungry and tired, damnit.)

Lay in the grass and enjoy the sun on our faces. (I honestly expect you to pick this one, but I'm perfectly okay with that. I think it's something you'd enjoy. That's why it's on the list.) 

Obviously we will eventually do all of those things, but it's nice to think about exactly what we get to look forward to when we get out. Goodnight Cas, I miss you.

 

 

Benny's prayer day 212

Alright you son of a bitch,  
I'm tired of watching the hope fade from Dean's eyes. Every day there's a little less. I didn't expect to make a friend in the God forsaken Hell hole, but damit, here we are. So get your ass in gear angel, because I'm tired of watching Dean fade, like this.

 

 

Prayer 265

Hey Cas,  
I found a mark on a tree today, and I'm praying, literally, that you left it. I saw it and for the first time since I don't remember when, I felt hope. It was fresh too, which means we could be right on top of each other without even knowing it. If you can, please stay where you are as long as possible. We couldn't cover a lot of ground because of how late we found the mark, but at first light I'm coming Cas, and we're going home. Goodnight Cas, I love you.


End file.
